Final December

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Musical Accompaniment:

The War on Drugs - Red Eyes

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Surrounded by the night, I seek solace in the ghosts

Remnants of past lives, they're the ones I miss the most

Every one of my victories and all of my mistakes

They grow taller than the mountains and deeper than the lakes

There's so much to do and see in life but we've done and seen it all

Learn to escape your earthly ties and your true self you will recall

I was once a cobbler, a poet and a king

I've bathed in the light of the universe and drank deep from nature's spring

That each life should prove so onerous is an eternal mystery

We keep going round in circles, no progression in our history

I've never reached enlightenment like so many of my peers

I'm a prisoner of Saṃsāra, idly roaming her frontiers

To try to find your family, human life is much to short

And yet life itself is unbearable without some form of support

All that's left is meditation, we must all learn to remember

So that we must only suffer but one more final December

Problem Solving

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Musical Accompaniment:

Pearl Jam - State of Love and Trust

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Head down, eyes closed, I'll break this chain or break my neck

Legs churning, open ice, shoulder to shoulder bodycheck

I'm gonna make god wish he hadn't even tried

So full of narcotics my brain's completely fried

Funny how this one shows any hope

Guess that's what you get with your back to the ropes

This train's derailed, can't get it back on the track

The world sits in silence and awaits the impact

This one's mine, I'll make of it what I can

Even if I fail as I've done time and again

I'm not gonna waste my emancipation

I'll barrel right through the doubt and frustration

If you find me shattered amongst the wreckage

Consider these words my last honest message

Internal/External

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Musical Accompaniment:

Snow Patrol - Set Fire to the Third Bar

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Perhaps just a smidgen?

I can't even give you that

Have you completely lost your religion?

It's nothing to shake a stick at

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Meet you half way there?

No, I think I'll have to pass

Do you not even care?

More like I'm running out of gas

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You mind lending a hand?

It'd be the neighborly thing to do

Even if it gets you banned?

I don't like what you're up to

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I thought you wanted to help out?

No, I think I've changed my mind

What are you on about?

No contracts were ever signed

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Aren't these problems all your own?

I just wanted some support

Could you just leave me alone?

I guess I've got one last resort

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Hey, how're you coming along?

I'm about to be run out of town

Really, what went wrong?

I'm sorry to let you down

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Do you still think of me sometimes?

Occasionally, I guess

Have you read any of my rhymes?

Yeah, the make me feel depressed

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Was it really so long ago?

It feels like it's been ages

And what've I got to show?

The truth's there in the pages

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Oh, what happened to your book?

A thousand things and more

Could I have a look?

I don't really see what for

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Could I be in any way of assistance?

Here we go again...

Are you still mad because of the distance?

I'm mad because you could've helped me then

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What did you expect me to say?

I don't know, I feel contrite

Could it have gone any other way?

It wasn't my fault outright

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You think I don't know that?

Of course, my apologies

Then what are you getting at?

The problem's with your ideologies

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My principles are sound

You've never been more wrong

At least I've got my feet upon the ground

Yes, but is that where they belong?

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Vagabondage

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Musical Accompaniment:

Black Label Society - Just Killing Time

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You can't get lost on a Roman road for all roads lead to Rome
But I can't read the way markers and I've traveled far from home

I'm growing weary of the walking, my soles are long worn out

I've been tested by the elements, suffered blizzard, monsoon, drought

My fellow travelers all seem to know their destination

Yet I know not where I am headed despite all my meditation

I was never one to ask for help, I go it best alone

But all these years of wandering have lead me outside my comfort zone

 Yet after inquires and petitions I soon learned to my dismay

There's no one else upon the road who can point me the right way

So I'll steel myself and carry on without a clue where I am going

I'll find out when I get there for the proof is in the knowing

To those not living

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Musical Accompaniment:

Damien Rice - Coconut Skins

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Sure you could go on cautious in this world so full of dangers

You can stick to the people you know and forget that they were once strangers

You can play it by the book and never take a gamble

But the irony of it all, is that it'll still end up a shamble

You can restrict your diet and remain physically fit

Then someday outta nowhere crab hammer scores a critical hit

Time is ever fleeting and one day we'll all be dust

But there's nothing more to come once we're laid beneath the crust

Make the most of what you've got now

Gotta make this life worth it somehow

There's no reason for this hurrying

For god sakes stop this worrying

Enjoy life as it passes by

So you face no regrets when it's time to die

Sisyphus

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Musical Accompaniment:

The National - Afraid of Everyone

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All this time spent on the run

Just to end up back at square one

 Just when I thought I was getting somewhere

I realized I'm climbing a Penrose stair

The repetition is making me nauseous

And all my misfortunes have made me too cautious

 I don't know how to break the cycle

This is old hat in the life if Michael

I don't have the means to help me here

So I'm drowning myself in whiskey and beer

I'm gonna battle with 86 proof

The monsters that've got me up on the roof

But if you see me call out my name

I'm not deaf yet, I'm only to blame

Second Sisters

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Musical Accompaniment:

Death Cab for Cutie - The Sound of Settling

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I've always done quite well

But never in that sense

I've even planted flowers

And watched them grow at my expense

My hyper heart is not a blessing

It's a burden and a curse

And the rarity of my affliction

Only makes the matter worse

I doubt I ever will get back

That which I bestow

That specific form of happiness

I sadly must forgo

I'll be an eternal brother

A true and honest friend

When something weighs upon your heart

I'll have an ear to lend

And when my resolve is tested

I'll try to hold my tongue

I'll sacrifice my emotions

In an heroic act unsung

Make me better

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Musical Accompaniment:

Alice in Chains - Nutshell

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I am a collector of useless things

The half of which are ideas

My life is full of idle distractions

That serve to mitigate my fears

With each action I perform

I suffer from the qualms

That rain down on my existance

Like so many tiny bombs

Hesitance and hindsight

The rulers of my domain

Diffidence and insecurity

The poisons in my brain

If I rationalize my life

I don't like what I see

But I'm the only one holding me back

I'm both detainer and detainee

One day I'll finally stand up

And say I've had enough

But then again it's possible

That I'll just call my bluff

I might stay like this forever

And that might be okay

But maybe one day I'll get my shit together

So I can finally fly away

Hyper Heart

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Musical Accompaniment:

Kevin Shields - Ikebana

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Judas’ heart was slandered, he only played his part
Emily’s heart was lonely, she expressed herself through her art

My father’s heart was stone, he couldn’t reciprocate what he received
My mother had a reckless heart, it’s no wonder she was deceived

Niel’s still searching for a heart of gold, no one’s told him it can’t be found
Lennon was a bleeding heart, a psycho put him in the ground

Madeleine’s heart was frigid, she couldn’t love even if she tried
Liam’s heart was stolen, he chased her far and wide

Astrid’s heart was broken, her sons died in the war
Everybody’s got a hungry heart, we always long for more

Thorani’s heart’s still beating, there’s hope she may still live
But I possess a hyper heart, I make more love than I can give

Bamboo Friendship

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Musical Accompaniment:

陳悅 - 綠野仙蹤

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I've read it in the tea leaves and felt it in the current

All the futures that could be and all the pasts that weren't

Yet all that matters is the moment, we'll never know the reasons

Our time on Earth is measured not just by the passing of the seasons

We are but single tiny raindrops falling in the storm

But in each inevitable collision lies the potential to transform

The people that we meet and the lives that we affect

Are that which do define us, that which makes the world perfect

We're here but a short while and there's so very much to learn

But perhaps the most important is to love and be loved in return

We grow as a collective, we grow stronger than bamboo

And this is why I'm grateful to have friends the likes of you

Excelsior

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Musical Accompaniment:

Marc Streitenfeld - Into the Fray

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My apathy had blinded me

as I trudged on through the fall

Without a care or worry to spare

I must have missed your call

A great black dog was lurking in the fog

of my tired mind

Life moved on, dusk after dawn

and I'd fallen quite far behind

It was hard for me to get up off my knees

for I instinctively avoid the sun

I was lost and felt the creeping frost,

I was certain I was done

The hardest were the first for those steps hurt the worst

and I'd lost my orientation

It seemed like forever, this eternal endeavor

and I was drowning in frustration

It was no easy task removing the mask

which had long obscured my vision

For so many years I'd been plagued by fears,

my life was ruled by indecision

But my redemption came through retention

of an earlier suicide

The sun pierced the clouds and revealed the crowds

and I repressed the urge to hide

I finally found a foothold; the warmth replaced the cold

and my long-lost strength returned

I felt a smile growing and from the inside I was glowing,

I knew this happiness was well-earned

I was on the razor's edge but now I'm on the home stretch,

I've left the fog behind

And though perhaps I ought, I certainly know not

where I am headed and that's fine

Let love into your heart and you gain a fresh new start,

look to the faces all around

Millions just like you trying to somehow make it through

in this life that holds us down

Man suffers from mendacity but we all have the capacity

to help each other out

So in the face of negativity, let mercy, peace and sympathy

be the rains that end the drought

Dying (II)

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Musical Accompaniment:

Grant Wilson - Cured

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When i awoke my tracks were covered in a foot of freshly fallen snow

The morning sun shone through the trees and the frozen forest was aglow

A gentle breeze came from the south and the boughs swayed to and fro

And I broke camp and headed off, though I knew not which way to go

A ten hour trek brought me up to the summit of the world

The clouds were all below me, around the lonely peaks they curled

The wind rose up the slope, the snowflakes scattered, danced and swirled

And I planted my banner beside the others, colorful and unfurled

The walk back down was lonely and I sang a song to pass the time

The tune was a just simple one and the language was not mine

When I reached the bottom of the mountain, I dove back into the pine

And contemplated my adventure to reach the enlightened and sublime

Had I achieved my goal? My thoughts had begged the question

Petitio principii so goes the old expression

For years I had been searching, this was now somewhat an obsession

The view from the top had left behind a rather great impression

But I was disappointed, it wasn’t quite what I expected

My moment of nirvāṇa had left me unaffected

Then suddenly it hit me and in my tracks I stood corrected

The answer lay not at the apex but was with everything connected

In the end it wasn’t the teachings or the training or anything I’d read

It was the love I’d shared with those I’d known, the life which I had led

It was the feeling and emotions, the words all left unsaid

It was the logic and the reason, the thoughts in my own head

So I lay me down upon the soft white snowy ground

And starred out longingly as the trees and stars all gathered round

I was sure that after time my shell would eventually be found

But my soul would long be gone, perpetually unbound

For so very long I’d been repeating life era after era 

But that glorious winter day was when I finally left Saṃsāra

Die phönizische See

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Musikalische Begleitung:

Underøath - It's Dangerous Business Walking Out Your Front Door

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Die phönizische See besteht aus Limonade, Blut und Tränen

Eine Zuflucht der Verlierer, keine Herrschaft zu erwähnen

Täglich wächst die See mit jeden Verlusten und Niederlagen

Durch den trüben Schleier treiben einsame Wehklagen

Der traurige Gesang eines verlorenen Matrosen

Er rudert immer weiter mit niemandem zum Ablösen

Ein andere hat den Kopf sinken lassen und jetzt sinkt auch sein Schiff

Weder auf Glaube noch Hoffnung haben Reisende Zugriff

Die See bietet keine Obdach sondern ein Gefängnis der Grausamkeit

Ein Entkommen gibts hier nicht, die Havarie: eine Frage der Zeit

Monkeys

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Musical Accompaniment:

Incubus - Dig

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Mine was black and gruesome

Its fur a dirty mess

I’d quite gotten the impression

It was bigger than the rest

I’ve no idea just how long

The bastard avoided my detection

I couldn’t see him in the mirror

For I no longer cast reflection

Its weight had drug me down

Its words led me astray

It had been feeding on my sorrow

Like a glutton at a buffet

For all I know it could’ve just been

All I need was the distraction

But just like Jagger, I was on a losing streak

And couldn’t find any satisfaction

So I looked to you, my friends

I knew you’d never let me down

You gave me hope where there was none

And made a smile out of my frown

To each of you I owe so much

You picked me up and made me see

Put me back on track and helped me

Replace the alcohol with endorphins

Now I’m my old self again

I’ve regained my confidence and composure

So look to me if ever you need help

And I’ll get that monkey off your shoulder