I felt the Earth rise up to wake me as she did every so often; bringing me back to the world I had left behind. I stared out across the field and from somewhere off to the side a rabbit darted across the ground. Its feet trampled the soft clover quickly and at equal intervals at it flung itself far from whatever had startled it. As I watched its tiny brown body bounce through the green I could suddenly feel the creature’s emotions. Despite my stationary position, I suddenly felt the need to stop. The rabbit gracefully ended its dash on a dime; going from full speed to static rest. I felt a quick relief flash through the muscles in my back. I stared at the beast and though it was a hundred meters away I could hear its heart beating rapidly against the inside of its chest. It yearned for breath and was fighting the feeling of relaxation for cautiousness had to come first. It sat up on its haunches and surveyed the area; it was void of any other activity save for this wild connection that drew me to the animal and seemed to hover in the air like some intangible umbilical. He hopped off rather content and halted to smell a small group of daffodils and I suddenly realized there was another rabbit in the field. This oversight surprised me for I was sure that the area was empty. My eyes now darted back and forth over the short clover; searching for anything else I may have missed in my initial scan which had since proven to be false. I saw another rabbit a little farther off. Then another closer to where the first had stopped. Then another. And another. There were no less than six rabbits in the field, all of them seeming to spring from Mother Earth herself. I knew this would not last. The ground would swell as it always did and I would be taken higher into the air to breathe the thin fumes that always made me feel the most at ease. And then just as suddenly as it had happened, it would end. I would sink back down with the Earth and pass the rabbits, pass the clover, pass the elemental escape coursing through me and I would one again feel the weight of my self as I was spun towards the center of the Earth by some force I vaguely understood but could not comprehend. The sky had grown considerable darker and I suddenly realized that much more time had passed than I had anticipated. My ears faintly recognized the chirping of birds in the distance. This was unheard of to me now and my mind began to run in several directions. I had never seen so much activity in these times that my mother called me to her. Usually it was only to show me something. Something specifically intended for me to take away, though I hardly ever figured it out until some later point in my life. But as I watched the rabbits chase each other across the green and the wind swept my hair to one side, I couldn’t tell what I was thinking. So many times after these trips ended, I regretted that they were so short-lived and so many nights I dreamed of returning to my mother to learn from her and have her nurture me in a way that I can only describe as willingly-intended. For so long I had thought that if I could somehow escape to this place that I would be happier with whatever was to come than the same dab certainty that plagued my everyday life. But now that I was suddenly faced with the potential poser of actually not returning as I always had, I was entirely unsure of what I wanted to think. All I ever wanted might have just been laid before my feet but I could not accept it guiltlessly because I felt the pang to return at least once more and square up a few unfinished ends I would be leaving behind. In this stance, I knew I was not fully committed to the epitome that welcomed me with its green clover and happy rabbits. A bit of the Earth crumbled under my right foot snapping me out of a stupor. A hole had opened up and inside it was dark and I could sense a strong feeling of despair and distress rise out of it. It was to this feeling that I always returned. No, I decided. I did not want to return this time. The ground rose up in a giant mound centered around where I stood. It was quite dark now; overhead was so deep a shade of blue that only the tops of the trees could be seen clearly where they kissed the sky. I felt the breeze rush through my hair as I ascended into the crisp night air. I would not be returning today. I looked around and a smile gripped my face uncontrollably. Tonight. I would not be returning tonight. It was the first time I had visited her in this hour and she was still as beautiful as I could ever hope. I was alone in the sky now; an endless vessel of clean autumn air. I had left the rabbits far behind in both body and mind and slowly it seemed to me that I should also include soul into that description. The clouds around me melted; bright silver that glowed like a wildfire against the black sky. The thin wisps of silver tongues played about on my skin and I reached out for them. They willingly obliged; accepting me with the finest greetings that anyone could hope for. I could feel her golden eyes on me though I could not find her just yet. From up this high, I could usually spot her off in the mountains or in a stream twisting below. But the darkness of night concealed her from me this time and I felt an entirely new exhilaration as I breathed in the silver smoke. I was illuminated by the bright light, known not only to her but the rest of the world. Yet I was blind and none the wiser of the events that took place than I had ever been. A comfortably icy sensation ran through my veins quenching my thirst. I felt the Earth upon me as every man ever has since the moment of his conception. Suddenly it became clear to me what I was to do. Without anything else for to hinder my attention, it was quite evident, the feeling of bondage to this world from the Earth. She pulled me down and I pulled her up; I knew this. But she also pushed me up, something I had always felt but never quite understood. As I danced through the silver clouds deep in the empty sea of icy sky I began to wonder what would become of me if I would push her back. I felt her golden eyes upon once more and I could feel her approval rushing through me. Like a new bride offering herself to her lover, I felt the passion of the Earth rush through my body and I knew that we were all but one. I looked below me, though I knew I would find nothing. The smoke curled itself around my legs and as I pulled a particularly bright cloud towards me, I took in a deep breath. I brought the silver mist to my face and buried it in the light. From within, I could see the white stars that painted the night sky and they flirted with me, beckoning me to be more affectionate. But this play was all in their nature, as I well understood. I smiled at them and they giggled like girls on a playground. I blew out the cold air I held in my lungs, scattering the cloud outwards in a stream of blinking white lights and silvery haze. It was as satisfied as I had ever felt and a sense of renewed vigor filled my spirit as I closed my eyes and attempted to save the moment forever. Without reopening them, I stretched downwards with the full intention of my body, mind and soul. I was unsure how I knew it but this was the appropriate time for my emancipation. I pushed downwards using what energy I could muster and I found it rather effortless to raise myself up by pushing down upon the Earth. I felt the cold water of the brook that ran alongside the clover. I felt the spindly twigs that jutted upwards from the very tops of the elders. I felt the incongruent changes in the surface where the hills met the plains and the harder, course soil of the mountain peaks. I felt the wheat that swayed from side to side in the swirling breeze. I felt the Earth for only a few moments longer, playing at my underside as I rose up higher and higher still. Then it had sunk away, too far out of grasp. I was alone in the sky. The deep, empty, icy sky. Above me the tiny stars twinkled at me welcoming me, beckoning me to come closer and be more ambitious. I smiled at them, we both knew that it was only flirting and nothing would come of it. I lay back and closed my eyes concentrating on nothing at first but then I suddenly found myself thinking of the rabbits and the clover field below. My mind skipped like a record that had been bumped and I felt that much time had passed unnoticed in the space of a heartbeat. I had a curious urge to place me hand to my breast and confirmed that there was no heartbeat resonating from within my chest. I opened my eyes and was greeted by the morning sunrise. I was lying in the field of clover near the quite little brook. The rabbits were already up and moving about drinking the dew off of the greens. I felt them pull me with the intangible umbilical that I had felt the day before. I rose to my feet and stared out at the world. I no longer felt the need to do anything. No desire to breath, eat or sleep. I was free in not only body and mind but also in soul. I was here for good and I was happy with this outcome. It was what I had always wanted. The Earth pushed me up playfully and I kindly pushed her back. Everything was fine. Very fine.
